"if you have a problem in your body, your body will naturally move away from it in order to avoid pain and discomfort"- Dr. Jason Skolar, chiropractor."tapah-svadhyaya-Isvara-pranidhanani kriya-yogah:
In order to practice being whole, an inner fire, constant study, and a devotion to things spiritual are required" - Patanjali Sutra 11.1, translation Kofi Busia
"By practicing yoga with a warrior's courage and an infant's vulnerability, we can embrace stiffness and flexibility, likes and loathings, the sunlit and moon-shadowed" - Ronnie Paul, Yoga With An Attitude, Yoga International Magazine
It has taken me awhile to process my 21 day trikonasana (triangle pose) challenge. As a Yoga teacher, I will tell you it is neither my first nor my last. I hold the belief that I cannot teach what I have not yet practised, so I often put myself into these challenges, to see what I can learn and at some point, my experience as a student of myself usually becomes fertiliser for teaching others. I also believe consistency, ritual, and repetition are foundations of transformation.
I would probably never have written about this except I just recently saw a video "never give up" which is about one man's journey into transformation through yoga....and I thought, yes, this is what it is all about. Not about "achieving the perfect pose", but about getting into the whole journey and persevering, moving past "can't". There is always something we can do on and off the mat, and finding it and focusing on it is very transformative/productive. Watch the video - you will understand. And then there is a student of mine who insisted I take pictures before and after a one hour private yoga class. You can see such change that maybe all of you who do not believe that your tensions can be teachers, that your tightness cannot be released, that yoga is only for the already flexible, maybe you will give it a go. Below on left is before, and on right is after -one one hour session (yogatherapy).
What initiated the challenge this time was being in a workshop where we were asked to go into a posture we hated. Hello! Right away I groaned and did a very lopsided and uncomfortable trikonasana. I did not even bother to pretend my heart and mind were with me, I just grimaced on the inhale and complained on the exhale. It was not very NAMASTE. Needless to say, I had avoided including this posture in any and all of 17years + of daily practise.
I do feel that avoidance can be a good thing: Montreal potholes, touching fire, walking alone on a dark street, foods that trigger bad reactions, negative and non-nurturing circumstances, driving on an empty gas tank, texting and driving, gossipping, being in the sun without sunscreen, forgetting water on a long walk...This however was a different kind of avoidance, of just letting myself get blocked by my own tightness instead of setting out on an exploration to overcome and understand.
At any rate, several variations later we had worked out a way I could try the posture, and at least breathe through the discomfort. My first reaction was jeez why bother! I just want to feel good, but - my first response to that was, hmmm, let's investigate why it isn't comfortable. That is what I felt I needed to do. I mean - really - it is one of the classical standing postures and has all these benefits- who in their right, meditative mind would not want all this? :
-elongates and strengthens your spine-brings flexibility to back muscles
-tones legs
-helps balance liver, kidney, spleen function
-powerful pose that can help build strength/determination.
Week 1 was not too easy. I hated trying to breathe into a very uncomfortable right hip. I hated being tight. I thought I should be a model for Yoga Journal not feeling like the only Yogini on earth to be leaning on a wall in order to get to the other side of this investigation. However, I kept at it, making sure I was warmed up enough to hold it for about 1.5 minutes per side, breathing comfortably and steady on my feet. Relaxed while monitoring and being aware of tension is VALUABLE. I learned a lot about pain signals and discomfort. These are important cues for instinct management in daily life, don't you think? The body has a language of its own, and the breath is a barometer of stress/emotions. The thoughts and feelings that surfaced were interesting to me, and I journalled a lot to bring stored tension to light.
Week 2 was less physically uncomfortable. I moved from the wall variation to the support of two blocks. I discovered I had been trying to move into it with the wrong part of my anatomy because of certain weaknesses. I discovered that what propels me forward is not focusing on my strengths, but improving these weaker, tighter parts with ahimsa (loving kindness). I found that bit by bit the body was opening its doorways. There was a moment when I thought ok, well I got what I came for, let's move on...but 21 days means just that. Onward.
I have arrived at the point where I can leave the discipline of 'having' to do this posture, and now am staying present when I practise, not simply to what variation will work for me, but whether it is a necessary choice in that moment. I think avoiding based on laziness, fear or 'certainty' of failure is not an option for me. My tensions have been the bearer of some great wisdom for me. I wish for you the same positivity on your journey of transformation. Stay safe,
Om shanty shanty shanty,
Rana
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